How I Survived My Quarter-life Crisis…

I suffered from Quarter-life Crisis exactly on schedule: at 25.


Wikipedia:
A crisis (plural: crises) may occur on a personal or societal level. It may be a traumatic or stressful change in a person’s life, or an unstable and dangerous social situation, in political, social, economic, military affairs, or a large-scale environmental event, especially one involving an impending abrupt change. More loosely, it is a term meaning ‘a testing time’ or ’emergency event’.

It happened during the last quarter of 2008.

I felt I was at the peak of my career. I finished my Master’s degree on time, was invited to speak at various IT conferences and conducted trainings. I was even one of the SFD team leaders who were given special mention. Also, I passed the PhilNITS exam and had a great job offer at one of the software companies. It seems that I was really successful. But one thing was lacking: a lovelife. (Yeah, friends, I know…)

Until I met this guy in one of the trainings I attended. Guy X had everything on my Guy Checklist. A good diploma, title, nice and stable job, charming personality, responsible, Catholic, good son, and lives in the city where I wanted to live and build a family. Plus, he even had a car (ahem). Everything was perfect. It was just so hard to resist. I was supposed to be happy. I was. And I definitely enjoyed those times. Life was soooo good to me. But I had a gut-feeling that it was just too good to be true. I had everything I ever wished for. It didn’t feel right. I waited for the dark day to come.

And one day, it did! The relationship ended. Crashed. Crushed. Just like that. At first, I struggled. I wondered what was wrong with me. How could it happen to an awesome and fabulous girl like me?! How can I be a failure? It was just so hard to handle…at first.

But I handled the crisis pretty well.

I didn’t wallow in self-pity or turn into drugs, alcohol or commit suicide. I am a toughie. I just evaluated my life – took a closer look on who I am as a person and realized that there’s nothing wrong with me, at all! I am indeed fabulous! (in my own standards, at least…)😀

This blog entry is not about “Surviving a breakup” so, I won’t focus on that. It deserves an entirely new entry.

Anyway, amidst all the “getting-over” and “moving forward”, I still had to deal with another dilemma: “Staying or Moving Out”.

I was confused about staying with my current job or moving into another field. It was not a simple decision because it involved moving to another city, looking for a new(and more expensive) house, meeting and working with new people and leaving the people whom I have worked with the past five years. It was a tougher crisis.

These were the questions that kept bothering me:

  • Will I be better as a trainer or a teacher?
  • Where do I fit: academe or industry?
  • Who are the better friends: those in GenSan or those in Cebu?(A stupid question coz all of my friends are equally great!)
  • Will I be happier in GenSan or in Cebu?
  • Will Company X get hit by the global economic crisis?

But again, I was able to get through it with flying colors…

Here are the things I did:

  • Pray – Spiritual guidance really helps
  • Talk to friends – especially those who really understand what you are going through and are much eager to help
  • Meditate/Reflect – Take some time to be with yourself. Examine your heart and identify your feelings. Know your deepest desires and priorities.
  • Read books/blogs – You are not alone! Learn from those who went through similar situations

I am now a better and more mature person because of the crises I have gone through. I am single but happy. At least nobody’s making me cry over nonsense stuff right now. Haha.

And I realized that there was something wrong with my Guy Checklist: I missed the loyal, honest, mature and totally-into-me criteria. No wonder I got the wrong guy! Another thing I realized is that I have a fantastic job here in MSU, which allows me to enjoy the thing I am truly good at: being with and working with people! I will have fun with my current job and look for other opportunities a little later…

How about you? How did you handle your quarter-life crisis?

7 thoughts on “How I Survived My Quarter-life Crisis…

  1. ..wow..
    ang tibay mu maam…
    enjoy life…

    GoodLuck sa Career… GOD bless…
    xenxa.. tagalog lng mkaya ko.. ^^

  2. Mylene,

    Congrats! You weathered your crisis pretty well. You know, a good and hardworking person like you really deserve better things. I hope your happiness will be complete soon. Good luck and Godspeed.

  3. hi ma’am,

    it was a crisis well handled for you =) all things will fall in the proper place and proper time,.you are a fabulous woman and i know you deserve a fabulous man too =) hehehe,.goodluck ma’am! hope to see you again soon…=)

  4. Wow… Showbiz…

    Did this affect your decision on NEC’s offer? Medyo coincidental lang kasi. Anywayz, may the Al-mighty bless you in everything that you do…

  5. Ito na ulit yung comment ko te. hehe.. sayang ung kanina but im certain that this would be almost the same as it was supposed to be. i don’t mind typing my comment again for such a nice article.

    I must say your posts are improving ha. I mean, u have pics, highlights na. It’s not about personal issues alone but laying down good points to ponder. I guess you were inspired by other bloggers especially sacha so you want your readers to be inspired in the same way.

    Indeed te, your FABULOUS! The husband-material is just around somewhere enjoying his journey towards you. By the time he comes to you, he’s already completely whole. (he’s not going to ask for parents’ permit anymore. hehe…) You will just be adding colors to each others’ lives and I’m pretty sure you’ll be a good wife and a mother, too.

    I’m very happy because u’ve surpassed your months-long struggle over your career path. And much more than happy because you chose to stay. You are a light in this office. It would have been way too different working days without you.

    Congratulations for becoming a better and more mature person!

    Life is what you make it and you are making yours a great one. More blessings of wisdom and fulfillment for a genuine person that you are!

    God bless you more!

  6. Pingback: Looking back « My Lane

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