Note: I initially wanted to keep this post private because I’m afraid people I know might read this and form their judgments about me. But I realized that I just have to share this so that other people can learn from my experience. Because after I wrote this post I really felt better and my day also went great… Especially at work. It seemed to turn 360 degrees just because I began my day with the right attitude and mindset. So hope this helps you too… :)
Today I woke up worried that I might have not done my best in my job. I’m afraid that I am not giving enough for my job. I am doubting myself and I wish I can fight this feeling. I should just feel confident and slowly but surely be great at what I do. Contribute to the team. I should not let anybody down or put me down.
The only way they can let me down is when I screw up on purpose. I didn’t get here without hard work. I am here because I deserved to be here. I am here because they saw something in me.
The root cause of all this is that I am afraid. Afraid of losing what I have. Afraid of not being enough. Afraid of failure. I am operating from a wrong disposition:fear.
It used to work out fine when I was new in the industry, because I wasn’t afraid. I had nothing to lose. I was eager to learn from everyone else around me. But now, I’m getting proud and afraid. Two very dangerous things.
So now, I stop being afraid. And just learn to trust myself. Learn. Keep in mind that I am here to learn and that I really don’t have anything to lose. I just need to get over myself, work well with other people, and give it my best shot. Instead of waking up and wondering “how have I messed up yesterday? Or I should have done this or I shouldn’t have done that.”I should start everyday asking myself “how can I be greater than yesterday? Or what will life teach me today? Or how will I have fun and enjoy this day?”
Everyday is a new day. A chance to start anew. Smile. Be thankful. Expect great things. Attract good things.