Where is home?

 Being away from home at the tender age of 13, I have felt a growing need to spend time with my family as much as I can. But after high school, I had to go to college, then after college, I have to work. I went farther and farther away from my family.

Sometimes I feel estranged. It’s like they really don’t know me anymore, and I them. For the past 16 years of my life, I lived in 4 different cities and I stayed in one city at at an average of 4 years. I moved around a lot. I lived with different people at a time. I treat people like family, became very close, and then I had to leave.

Sometimes when I envision or think about home, somehow I couldn’t figure out where it is. When I go home to be with my family in our little hometown, I feel like I don’t belong there anymore. I feel like a stranger. I feel like a visitor. When I visit my non biological families, also known as friends in some city I’ve stayed before, I feel happy to see them but I still could not imagine going back. It doesn’t feel right anymore.

Maybe I could figure this out and settle down when I meet my lifetime partner. Maybe he can help me decide where home is or will be.. 😉

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What I’ve been up to

It’s the Christmas season!

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I and my housemates Matel and Jo went to Ayala triangle to see the lights and sounds they’ve set up for this year. Look at the elegant Christmas tree!

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My video of the dancing lights is on my cam so I can’t really share them with you now.

By the way, the charity event we conducted last week was a huge success.  A lot of people helped to make it happen. I’m really grateful to everyone who shared whatever resources they had to make the children of He Cares Foundation feel loved. A BIG thanks to you!

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These are the loot bags that we’ve prepared for the kids.

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This is a sample of the cupcakes that Dale has donated for the kids.

Last week I also watched Samurai X with some of my x teammates. It was fun. 🙂

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One of our favourite team bonding sessions is movie nights. Recently we also watched Breaking Dawn2 together. Aside from watching movies, we also love videoke and playing arcade games at WOF or Timezone. 🙂

I’ve also been spending quite some time at the gym with Suzie. We joined the hip-hop dance exercise and the taebo. That’s why my body is aching all over right now. Haha. I miss zumba but I’m sure I’ll have lots of time for that when I go home.

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By the way, Suzie knows so much about makeup, fashion, and tons of girly stuff. Now I found a fashion – slash – beauty consultant. 🙂

A Note in my Wallet

This note that I’ve kept in my wallet made me smile today. 🙂

 

This is a compilation of texts from my friends and family who comforted me when I had my heart broken  inDecember  2008. Now it’s no longer a reminder of a failed relationship but of love and friendship.

I am really thankful for this. These simple notes from you made my heart whole again.

Hayaan mo na lang ang mga taong ganyan. Be strong, stand up, pray to the Lord and continue your life. – Sir Dino

Don’t sour grape and don’t curse him, instead be thankful that he was once a part of your life. Treasure those memories, they are all part of growing up. At least you know now he’s too weak, unfit for you. – Sir Dino

Buing lage xa nalagot ko sa iya txt nimo. Dli man makabuot ang iya parents oi. Anyway, f mao na, xa ang nawalan, dli ikaw. Lucky keu ang lalaki s imu my oi. Ayaw kaguol, dli pjud cguro xa ang lucky guy. – Mae

Lagot jud ko nag icp s iya gbuhat nimu. Mahay jud xa s iya gbuhat. Ayaw na pag icp nya my ug ayaw na pagtxt ayaw na pagreply nya. Wala sa imu ang prob oi, ngkataon lng nga ang nakilala nimu way paninindigan. – Mae

Abi nimu galagot jud ko nya f kilala lng naku xa, ambot lng. Wala jud xay karapatan pasakitan ka my. Ayaw icpa na kaw ang dhado, my kay xa ang dapat magmahay nuh. – Mae

Ayaw paghilak my ha, dli xa deserving s imu luha. – Mae

F masakitan ka my, masakitan pd ko, f pued p gani, ako mangaway nya. Cge lng my, lalaki lng na xa. Daghan kaau s lyf dapat ikalipay nimo. Naa imu family , xla bya ato tinuod nga kalipay. – Mae

Enjoy ur day ha. I miss u my 🙂 hapi ko now ky mdyo ok nka. – Charisse

Kmusta ka na? Am praying for you – Maam Nimfa

I know nga it won’t take away d pain, bt just want 2 remind u how special u r n d eyes of many. Uv touched so many hearts. And we all beliv u dserv 2 b loved d ryt way… cherish d healing process te. It will make u a mor beautiful prson nsyd. Cant wait 2 c u again, renewd. – Ems

U mke me cry everytym u cry. Cz uv bn so spcl 2 me and im hurting too.. Seeing you cry doesn’t make u any lesser. In fact, uv gained my highest appreciation and admiration. Ur handling it well te. Kp it up! Love u te – Ems

D jud diay xa man enuf 2 face hs problems te. Maau nlng pd wla na mo ky coward diay xa. Dli angay nga sa ing ana nga lalaki ka mag submit. He cant b gud enuf 2 be ur man. – Ems

Hi my 🙂 are u ok today? I hope so. Wat matters is dat God is always der 4 u… – Charisse

Bsi katok na c *******. Go on wd ur lyf my. 4gt hm nlng.. Mkarealize rna madugay. Take care next tym ha. – charisse

Pg lingaw2 sad oi..hav fun. Pagwapa. Pparlor n everythin, ok? U celebrate lyf my… k? Aja – Fran

As long as my mai22long ako, count me in.. Juz giv urself a tym 2 heal n discern 4 things. Kaya mo yan! – Fran

Hes nt d strong man uv bn lukng for diay. Check tanan imong ideals. Katong mga obvious lng. Tong character part, daghan diay x. – Ems

Ate my, how r u? – Laiza

U wer strong enuf 2 take d risk knowing nga naay possibility nga d magwork out.. -Ems

Gago lagi na xa my. Kapangit. Ur left hanging wdout any closure. Duh, to hell wd dem. Y waste a lovely vcation 4 such. Sagdi lng my. We are hir 4 u. -Jose

Mamas boy jud diay. Lisud na my ky dli pud ko makadetect ug ingon ana. Pwo, hu carers. Nw u knw n jud. Sagdi lng, put ur gameface on n nman. Drs and ocean of boys out dr. – Jose

8s hard 4 a guy who just failed a grl to face her agen as soon as u want. Let hm take hs tym. Nsaktan pd guro xa nd hs stl coping wd 8. lisud ma fail. – Jose

Parents ka dyan! Hmp! Damay damayon pa jd iyang ginikanan. Xa ra to oi. Makagaba bya nang bugal bugalan p jd hasta parents. Pasumangil ra to nya oi. Kalimti lng na. makarma ra na. Anyway, lets jst enjoy d yuletide season. U have all the reasons 2 smile – Jay

Ul nvr 4gt ds xperience gud. It rili s worthy 2 luk back even on d pains. Cz d best lessons n lyf r from dos w/c left a meaningful scar n our hearts… – Ems

Alam mo npansin q te, uv handled ur pains gracefully. Vry womanly keu. Jesus has shaped u n2 a beautiful woman, insyd out. – Ems

I’m glad ur a survivor na. – Sir Dino

Yurs man to te.. Katunga s iya utok, lapok! – Baby

Tama lagi ko te, bayot man to – Tito Leven

No need to chat with that spoiled brat. It’s useless. I don’t respect persons taking advantage of the weaknesses of other people, most especially my friends. – Sir Dino

I can’t believe I’m seeing u cry for him my… Love tka and I’m always here for you. – Hannah