June 2010 – My Lane

Thank you for being a part of my life

I’m alone in my new office again. I’m supposed to have a class but the laboratory is under renovation so my classes are cancelled. I just viewed this awesome video created by my good friend in SFC, Marvin. It warmed my heart, made me smile, made me miss my SFC family, MSU family, BQ family, and other GenSan family and friends..

My SFC family – though I only had roughly 1 year with them, I was able to spend quality time with this family. What makes our bonding great is that it is centered around Jesus Christ and our Catholic faith. We always have fun together… singing praises to the Lord, praying, dancing, chatting, traveling, overnights, eating and even partying.

My Math/CNSM family – I miss my lunch buddies in the Math office. The sharing of our baons (leftovers from breakfast and sometimes, dinner), endless (and sometimes paulit-ulit na) chikas and updates on each other’s lives (as if we don’t know enough), assessments of our teaching performance, ice cream parties… oh, the list could go on. I miss them even more during lunch because I often have lunch in my cubicle alone now.

My BQ (Bachelor/Bachelorette’s Quarter) family and BQ itself- Those who say that living in BQ is a curse obviously haven’t tried living there. It is the most comfortable, peaceful, and inexpensive place a single professional could ever have. I miss my kapwa free single people who can just go out anytime, anywhere, chill, and have fun. Well, at least now they have one more good reason to come to Davao and spend their savings here. Haha.. I miss our bowling, badminton, videoke, and pigging out moments! 😀

Hannah and Charisse – Coz they don’t belong to any of the families I mentioned above. Thanks for making my life more beautiful simply by being in it.

Ay wab yu guys, and thanks!!! 🙂

Why does it hurt so much?

I am hurting. Right now, I am not so sure anymore if I made the right decision. It feels like I’m having a nightmare. I want to wake up and be thankful that it was just a dream. I have to remind myself that I should not make decisions right now because I’m really overly emotional. My heart feels so heavy and ready to burst. ARGH!!!!!! Did I really make the right decision?

I have thought about this for months and had always been sure about my plans: move out from my comfort zone and go to my courage zone, be closer to my family and start to build my future in Davao.

MSU has been my home for six years – my comfort zone. The people I’ve been with have been my family for six years. Maybe other people won’t understand why I feel this way… I’ve spent most of my life living away from my real family. 4 years in Davao (high school), 4 years in Iligan (college), and 6 years in Gensan (work). Plus I get so easily attached to people… I just can’t help it. I value my relationships so much that it sometimes becomes a liability because I hurt so much when they leave me… or when I leave them.

Ahh.. I have to stop. My eyes are just so sore… I have to remind myself that I can still nurture my friendship with these people despite the distance, that I’m gonna see them again, that it’s actually just 3 hours away, and that God has a reason for allowing these things to happen and that everything will work out for the best of everyone.

I hate feeling this way… I wish I just had a heart of stone so it won’t hurt like this………… But I’ll just miss them so much!!!

I really have to stop being overly emotional and get on with packing my things. Just believe what Bob Marley is telling me… “Don’t worry about a thing… cause every little thing is gonna be alright…”

Goodbye

Goodbye – for me, is the most painful word in the dictionary.

I flinch when someone says goodbye. It connotes separation, breaking up, or parting of ways. It doesn’t feel good.

But there are times, times like this, that I have no choice but say the word, Goodbye… and till we meet again.

Reflections

praying_hands — Photo Credits: http://jonathanignacio.wordpress.com

If I hadn’t surrendered my plans to the Lord, I am sure I would have felt hurt and really confused by the negative comments and pressures from the people around me regarding my resignation.

I have planned to transfer to Davao to be with my family since last year. In fact, I have submitted my application to USEP as early as February this year. I didn’t want to cause inconvenience to my supervisors and administrators in MSU. I knew that I had to submit my resignation before our chairman could make the teaching load for the new semester.

When summer has almost ended and still there was no word from USEP, I prayed and surrendered my plans to the Lord. Only HE knows what’s best for me. I even wrote these petitions at the Pink Sisters’ Monastery:
1. that I will be hired by USEP and
2. that the transition from MSU to USEP would be as smooth as possible.

Yesterday, the IT program head of USEP called to tell me that he has chosen me among the applicants for the Instructor I position. I felt so happy. But when the call ended, it suddenly dawned on me that leaving MSU during this time, when classes have already started, is going to be really tough.

I know some people would never understand…

They point out that I should have tendered my resignation 30 days before, etc.. Of course, I know that policy. That is why I applied to USEP as early as February. Sad to say, that they called me just a week ago – 3 months after I submitted my application – when classes have already started. Actually, it could have been a lot easier if I didn’t have a family to support. If I had it my way, I could have tendered my resignation last May and just leave everything to faith. But I don’t have the liberty to do that. I COULDN’T just be jobless! On the other hand, I couldn’t just pass up on the opportunity to have what I have been working and praying for. Or else, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.

I honestly feel bad for my students. I genuinely care for them and I didn’t want to leave them hanging. I never intended to do this to them. I just pray that I could find a suitable replacement who would really take care of and teach them well .

So far, I have heard almost all kinds of comments from the people around me. Some of them really have the potential to hurt me and make me feel bad, but fortunately, I have prepared for this. I trust that no matter what happens, I know, my good God is in control. 🙂

She inspired me to be a better educator!

I am really inspired to be a better educator because of what I learned (and re-learned) from Prof. Felomina Celiz last Wednesday, during the college’s “Echo-Training on Content-Based Module and Workbook Writing”.

She reminded us that we have a big role in shaping the future of this country. And that we should not only develop the cognitive skills of our students but also their affective and psychomotor skills. She also imparted to us the different strategies that we could apply in our teaching so that we could make learning more fun, easy, and interactive.

It was such a pleasure to listen to a pro such as Prof. Celiz. She is indeed an epitome of a great educator… a shining example of an educator with a heart for her students… someone who is really concerned about her students’ education.

She also happens to be the mother of my high school batchmate and friend, Djohanne, and I have heard a lot about how great a teacher she is from my officemates who were once her students in Education classes. And last Wednesday, I have seen for myself that she’s really an inspiration to us young and aspiring educators. 😛

Lovin my Philips Mp3 player

I wanted to buy an Ipod Shuffle so I can listen to my audiobooks while I travel. So when I had an opportunity to earn extra income by conducting a seminar at Holy Trinity College, I’ve made up my mind to buy that Ipod.

However, when I saw the Philips Go Gear MP3 player, I realized that I would have more value for my money if I chose to buy it. It had more functionality than Ipod Shuffle at a much lower price (Philips 2GB – P1,300 vs. Ipod Shuffle 2GB P3,200). Though the Ipod surely looks more sleek and nicer…

I had a couple of problems with my Philips player. It boasted of 2GB storage but I had to leave about 500MB of free space for it to work and not hang up. It really disappointed me at first. But well, it’s really cheaper so maybe it’s just suited for the price I paid for it.

Anyway, you might wonder why I love my Philips Go Gear? Well, I am able to record my own audio books with it! Haha! Yesterday, I tried recording a few pages from my Operating Systems book. If you have tried to read Galvin’s Concepts of Operating Systems book, you’ll surely find out that you’d have to read it more than once to understand the technical (and abstract) concepts.

So while I was washing my clothes last night, I listened to my own audio book.. sounds so geeky but well, it would help me teach better this school year. Yey! 🙂 Maybe I could require my students to download my recordings to their MP3 players so they can listen to me everywhere they go! Nyahahaha!!! ^^,

Summer Fun 2010

Wow. This summer is one of the best summers I ever had!

I had fun doing the things I listed on my Summer 2010 checklist. Though I wasn’t able to play badminton, try scuba diving, spelunking, and zip lining, still I had tons of unexpected, unplanned fun! 🙂

1. My cousins, brother and I went swimming in Samal Island.

2. My BQmates and I played bowling, sang our hearts out at Musicbox, and went seafood tripping at Tiongson ^^).

3. Had a mini high school reunion.. with Dianne, Love, Pierre, Paeng, Chay, Carla, Ellda, and Julienne.. It’s so nice to see old friends and realize that nothing has changed… despite not seeing each other for 10 yrs, we’ve remained friends… 🙂

4. Went home to Mangagoy and had fun with cousins..bonding time with Kim2 (whom I have seen for the 3rd time only). Visited Ocean View and the very cutie doll house… visited Nanay Inday… and had a road trip with Papa to Enchanted River.. super super fun!