Early this year, 2 months before my 31st birthday, I finally met ‘The One’. Funny how a lot of people told me before that the guy whom God has destined for me to be with was probably somewhere very far hence I haven’t met him yet. They were right. He was in Texas all this time, that’s why our paths never crossed. And when the right time has come, we finally found each other. đ This pic was taken when we attended my company’s Gala Night on the 31st of May, the night before he proposed to me. đ
Life wouldn’t be merry without the people and relationships that make it worth living. I was inspired to write a post about the people who made my year awesome because of Bianca Gonzalez‘s yearly post. I started making my own yearly list last 2012. Here’s for 2013:
10. Maan, Charles, and their teammates – lunch buddies, good friends
They’ve been my constant lunch buddies in 2013. It started when Maan and Charles got deployed to their team. They welcomed me and adopted me to their team. Even when I got deployed to my own project, I still spent most of my lunches with them. Lunch time was always fun – sharing each other’s food, swapping stories, and just enjoying each other’s company. I miss these bunch of simple, fun-loving geeks.
9. Lighthouse Enhancements team – great teammates!
Unlike Maan’s team, my teammates prefer to eat out in the different restos around Eastwood. That’s why it took a while for me to get to know them better. I thought they were maarte and sosyal at first, but when I got to know them better, they were really nice and down-to-earth people. They’re a bunch of hardworking, multi-talented, and brilliant kids. I miss our fun-filled, physically-challenging, team building activities.
8. Lloyd and JP – idols and mentors
My 2 very gifted and admirable bosses. When it comes to Java and systems development, these 2 guys are one of the best! I respect and look up to them. How I wish I would someday be as good as them. Lloyd, my senior manager, always reminds us to live up to the company’s “greater than” slogan. He is a great leader and mentor (just a little too workaholic… hehe. :p) ,very dedicated to giving his best. He gives his ALL in everything he does. No wonder why he has attained his career level at a relatively young age. JP, my direct supervisor (associate manager), knows Java/J2EE in depth and knows his craft very well. He is cool and calm, delivers high performance without jeopardizing his personal life. I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons from these two bosses and I hope our paths cross again someday.
7. Aries  fab girlfriends + Ate Doli = sweet girlfriends
Laiza, Ems, and Ate Doli are the absolute girlfriends. They are my go-to people for love-related, girly, emo problems. Thank God for single girl friends! đ Though we are miles apart (now 14-hr difference!), we still manage to keep in touch. I’m happy to see them at least once  a year during our exciting and uber-awesome trips. Too bad I’ll miss this yearly tradition this 2014.Â
6. The Feast Ortigas family – my spiritual home
Knowing and serving God just became better when I got to know these loving and caring people. I miss greeting and ushering people in to church with my friendly and smiling Warmth ministry. And I definitely miss teaching the makulit but super adorable kids of Awesome Kids Ministry.
5. Sofia, Sabby, and their awesome parents Bro. Â Ped and Sis Dems – model family
I got to know the 2 pretty girls at the awesome kids ministry. They’re very smart, pretty and sweet. Because of them, I got to know of the Call Center Feast ministry and served there as one of the layout artists of the bulletin. Their lawyer parents are equally admirable; not only for their wit and brilliance, but also for their remarkable love for God, devoting their time, talent, and treasure for God’s glory. Such an awesome young family. đ
4. Jem and new GCP friends – Â new friends!
You’re never too old to make new friends. I met Jem when he was about to leave the company and we saw each other again at our friends’ wedding. He’s been a good friend and mentor since then. I got deployed to his previous project and he gave me lots of tips and pointers so that I could perform well in my role as a team lead in the company. Another Java guy whom I look up to. My new GCP friends also made it to this list! Living and working away from home is a little less lonely because of them. I’m really grateful to have them in my life now.
3. James and my housemates –Â friends
I got to know James a lot better when I started going home at midnight because of work. We’d chat and exchange stories/updates about how our days at the office went. We celebrated small victories by satisfying our cravings through Angel’s burger or McDo’s fudge. He is also a dreamer and go-getter just like me. An ambitious, talented, young man in a corporate world, a little brother, and a good friend. Good thing that he came into my life when my other housemates Jo and Matel got busy with their love lives and we hardly saw each other in the condo. đ
2. Family
1. Nycah – my love
The current love of my life, the apple of my eye, the person whom I think about when I shop.. is none other than my niece, Nycah! I am the ultimate tita and spoiler of this little brat. Haha. She’s growing up so fast… and looks very cute in her school uniform! It always breaks my heart to leave and be separated from this baby love. She’ll be a big girl when I go home… my wish is to see her growing up…
Later, I saw my Nanay Rosing and she hugged me tight. She also looked younger than the last time I saw her. She was smiling and she looked really radiant. I was about to ask her about something and then she slowly faded into thin air…
and then I woke up. That was a beautiful dream. Just in time to celebrate Grandparents’ Day. Tatay Piling and Nanay Rosing are my fraternal grandparents while Tatay Primo and Nanay Inday are my maternal grandparents. They’re all in heaven now and there are times that I terribly miss them. But I am glad that I have with me all the lasting memories with them.
I’m so glad to have seen them again on this very special day, Grandparents‘ Day… even just a dream.
Living far away from my family has always been one of the most difficult challenges I have to live and deal with. My parents, siblings, and my beloved niece are in our hometown – Mangagoy, Bislig, Surigao del Sur. And I am living and working here in Metro Manila. No, I’m not an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker). I’m still in the Philippines but I still see them at most twice a year. That’s a really sad thing. But starting this year, one of my goals is to talk (text and call) them more often. And thanks to technology, we’re able to have video calls every weekend. And that makes me sooo happy! đ
It’s the Big Day at The Feast, concluding the 3-part Full Tank series (The Joy of Grace-Filled Relationships). As I was listening to Bro Vic talk about not having greed and envy in our hearts, I remembered an event that happened 12 years ago.
I felt so bad because Mama had taken time and effort to create a collage of my younger sister’s medal and graduation pictures. She was 4 years old, a pre-schooler at a Day Care Center at that time and I was already in 2nd year college, taking up IT. Somehow, a virus took over my mind and heart when I saw my mother putting all her effort on creating the collage. She never did that before.
I couldn’t brush off the voice inside my head that’s saying it’s unfair. That she should have made something like that for me too. Where did all my hard earned medals go? They didn’t even keep it. They’re nowhere to be found. My ego was sorely bruised. I felt so jealous. I couldn’t bear the thought that she loves her more than she loves me. I couldn’t accept that she seems to be so happy that she was able to go up the stage like it was the first time (and my gosh, for a pre-schooler?)! Anger enveloped my heart and that green-eyed monster kept whispering evil things to me. And I listened to all its ugly lies.
Somehow at that time, I had an empty love tank. And the voice inside me was screaming, ‘how about me? Why don’t you love me?!’ Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister a lot. But the selfish 18 year old me felt so much injustice at my mother’s gesture. I wanted to let her know that what she did was wrong. I wanted to hurt her because she has hurt me.
I did the unthinkable. I took the collage from the wall where my mother has hung it and destroyed it. Can you imagine an 18 year old doing such an immature act? All I could think of during that time is that I deserve more than what she’s giving to her. I deserve the attention. I deserve the praise. All I was thinking about is myself. I was totally and ridiculously selfish and grossly immature.
When Mama found out about what I did, she got furious and beat me. It was the worst fight we ever had. I have hurt her so much that it was the first time that I saw her cry. I made my mother cry! She can’t believe that I could do such a terrible and unexpected thing. I felt so guilty and sorry. We didn’t talk to each other for a week until she finally decided to send me to Davao and break the tension between us. I wrote her a letter asking for forgiveness before I left. I was worried that our relationship was already ruined and that there was no hope of restoring it. But of course she is my mother and she forgave me. Everything was back to normal after my 1 week vacation at Davao.
That episode in my life has taught me a lot of lessons about envy. About how it damages relationships. About how useless and awful it is. About how one should be careful not to listen to its lies. If you want to have grace-filled relationships, you should not envy. Be genuinely glad when others receive grace because a day will come when you will be the one on the receiving end. đ
I just came home from our visit to the lolos and lolas in Anawim. Our ministry, the Ushers of Ortigas Feast decided that our bonding session for this quarter would be an outreach to our elderly in Anawim. Although the schedule was very difficult for me – I’d only have 4 hours of sleep from my midshift. We had to assemble at Valle Verde Country Club at 7am and I came home from work at almost 2 in the morning.
But I didn’t mind. I was eager to be part of the pilgrimage to Anawim. This week, almost every night, I dreamt of my own grandparents. As if they’re telling me that I should also visit them when I go home to Mangagoy. Every time I wake up, I’d remember them in my dream but I could not remember what they said. I miss them so much.
Their old house..Their new house
As a child, I grew up in the love, care, and supervision of my lolos and lolas in both sides. And having been a lolo/lola’s girl has had a big impact and influence in my life. I give credit to them for having raised me as a loving individual. I am what I am today because I grew up in the unconditional love and kindness of my own grandparents. That’s why I thought that visiting the lolos and lolas in Anawim would make me experience that warmth again.
And I was not mistaken. When I saw them smiling and very much eager to meet us and spend time with us, my heart fluttered. Their smiles are priceless. Lola Grace even said that they are always very happy every time people would visit them because most of them are not allowed to go out of their shelter anymore because that would be too risky for them.
“Bumabata kami pag dinadalaw nyo kami rito. Bumalik kayo dito, anak,” was Lola Grace’s parting words. We enjoyed listening to their songs and watching them dance. At the same time, they were also entertained by our group member’s performances. It was a great and blessed day indeed, when we all experienced God’s wonderful love.
According to the head servant of Anawim, every time people go there, not only the elderly are happy, but they themselves will be happy because if the lolos and lolas are happy, they are much easier to please and take care of. Little did he know that we, the visitors are doubly happy because we made a difference in the day of the elders – we made them smile. And they made us smile too.
In my case, they also made me cry. Haha. Especially when it was time to say goodbye. I wasn’t able to control it, my tears just flowed from my eyes because I remember saying goodbye to my own grandparents when it was time for me to leave again. It always tore my heart to leave and see the longing in their eyes. Not knowing when, and if, I’ll see them again when I go home. Being far away from home since I was thirteen, saying goodbye after a break from school or work was always a pain.
But I left the shelter with joy in my heart, knowing that they are in good hands.
I thank God for blessing the earth with people like Bro. Bo and the benefactors, donors, servants, and Feast members who are willing to share their time, talent, and treasure to the abandoned elderly – the poorest of the poor.
Note: Anawim was founded by Bo Sanchez, a Catholic preacher. He was building huts that will serve as a retreat house when, one day, a wounded old man came. Bro. Bo’s heart was deeply touched that’s why he decided to build a shelter for the elderly. The place is really beautiful and well-maintained. That people would want to stay there when they get old. But Bro. Bo emphasized that one should strive, instead, to be donors for the poor elderly instead of being the ones who would need assistance.
So friend, while you are young, plan for your retirement and have an abundant life. So that one day, you can be a channel of blessing to others and help in God’s ministry. đ
I super love this Korean drama entitled “In Need of Romance”!!!
Ever since I started working on mid shift, I could only watch TV from about 12noon to 4pm. I was shuffling from channel to channel until this Korean drama caught my attention. The story line and the characters are all captivating! This is, by far, my most favorite Korean drama of all time! đ
Maybe because I can relate to it. Haha.
This is about 3 women in their early thirties (By the way, I’m not yet 30. But I can relate to their everyday dillemas). The story revolves around the careers, love lives, and friendship of 3 women. It’s almost like Sex and the City but hmm.. for me, it’s more romantic and fun.
The main character broke up with his 10-year boyfriend (and live-in partner) when she discovered that he was cheating.
And then she got romantically involved with the gorgeous owner of the company she’s working in (pogi!!).
This cute guy, her ex, wants to win her heart again. But…well.. he already cheated.. đŚ A relationship is so hard to mend when there are already trust issues. Sad.
Another character is looking for the man that she would one day marry.
And the other one is a career-oriented woman who “sleeps around” and never gets too attached with the men she dates for fear of being hurt.
I really, really love this Korean series and I hope I can get a DVD soooon!!! Can someone tell me where I can get a copy of this? I watch it at TVN – channel 75 along with SuperStar K! Love love love this series!!!
I have been suffering from emotional stress for more than a week now. And I think it is time to give up and move on with my life.
I have allowed myself to get close and be attached with a man who is soooo wrong for me. I have been confident that I would never fall for him because he doesn’t have the qualities I am looking for in a man. I yielded to him because I felt lonely and eager to move on from a failed relationship – convincing myself that I should have fun, and I won’t get hurt because I Â don’t have feelings for him.
Yes, I’ve had my share of fun. I wasn’t able to realize that days have turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. And one day, I just woke up realizing that I have grown attached to this man. He has said words to woe me and made me believe that he cared… or so I thought.
Last week, I’ve felt him suddenly grow cold and ignoring me. Of course, my instincts told me that there was someone else. I felt so bad, sad and lonely – plus my period made it all worse. I had a bad case of PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome) and dysmenhorrhea. I usually suffer from mild depression when I have my period and he chose to hurt me during my most weak and vulnerable moments.
I waited and waited patiently for him to go back to his old self. But it didn’t happen. Until I gathered all my guts, swallowed my pride and communicated with him.. At first, he acted as if there was nothing wrong – just like the old times. But he hinted that he had a problem. Until I was able to squeeze the truth out of him – he’s seeing a married woman (and she’s a teacher, too!!!!). How ironic could that be?! He said she’s about to be single again, soon. And that they are happy. He met her just a week ago! I felt daggers pierce my heart from everywhere and I was in so much pain.
I don’t know if I should thank him for being honest or hate him for being so insensitive to my feelings. I told him that I was hurting and I could no longer stay attached to him, that I am letting him do whatever he wants with his life. And I’ll support him wherever he finds his happiness – what a crazy, stupid girl I am. But I was doing it for myself, and not for him. And then he said he’s sorry, that he doesn’t want to hurt me, that he’s happy with me, and misses me a lot. And that he’s not YET attached to THAT married woman, that he’s attached to me.. Since I was a fool, I believed him.
But he ignored me again… and I am so sure that he’s with THAT married woman. Just the thought of them being together drives me nuts! And I have decided, right at this moment that I am letting go. There’s nothing else I could do. He’s giving me so much pain and disappointment. No self-respecting woman can ever allow that. I have to rise, gather all the strength that’s left of me and – stay as far AWAY from him as possible.
He has his needs – including those that I could not give (without a lifetime commitment) – that THAT married woman could provide. Â She has nothing to lose. I am miles away while she is so near him. I really can’t do anything about it. It’s hurting me like crazy and I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I should instead be thankful that God saved me from this kind of man – who’s weak and stupid!
He definitely is NOT the man for me… It’s just ironic that he’d chosen a married woman over me.
By the way, here’s a nice link for letting go and forgiveness that I want to share with you…
I felt I was at the peak of my career. I finished my Masterâs degree on time, was invited to speak at various IT conferences and conducted trainings. I was even one of the SFD team leaders who were given special mention. Also, I passed the PhilNITS exam and had a great job offer at one of the software companies. It seems that I was really successful.
Wikipedia:
A crisis (plural: crises) may occur on a personal or societal level. It may be a traumatic or stressful change in a personâs life, or an unstable and dangerous social situation, in political, social, economic, military affairs, or a large-scale environmental event, especially one involving an impending abrupt change. More loosely, it is a term meaning âa testing timeâ or âemergency eventâ.
It happened during the last quarter of 2008.
I felt I was at the peak of my career. I finished my Masterâs degree on time, was invited to speak at various IT conferences and conducted trainings. I was even one of the SFD team leaders who were given special mention. Also, I passed the PhilNITS exam and had a great job offer at one of the software companies. It seems that I was really successful. But one thing was lacking: a lovelife. (Yeah, friends, I knowâŚ)
Until I met this guy in one of the trainings I attended. Guy X had everything on my Guy Checklist. A good diploma, title, nice and stable job, charming personality, responsible, Catholic, good son, and lives in the city where I wanted to live and build a family. Plus, he even had a car (ahem). Everything was perfect. It was just so hard to resist. I was supposed to be happy. I was. And I definitely enjoyed those times. Life was soooo good to me. But I had a gut-feeling that it was just too good to be true. I had everything I ever wished for. It didnât feel right. I waited for the dark day to come.
And one day, it did! The relationship ended. Crashed. Crushed. Just like that. At first, I struggled. I wondered what was wrong with me. How could it happen to an awesome and fabulous girl like me?! How can I be a failure? It was just so hard to handleâŚat first.
But I handled the crisis pretty well.
I didnât wallow in self-pity or turn into drugs, alcohol or commit suicide. I am a toughie. I just evaluated my life – took a closer look on who I am as a person and realized that thereâs nothing wrong with me, at all! I am indeed fabulous! (in my own standards, at leastâŚ) đ
This blog entry is not about âSurviving a breakupâ so, I wonât focus on that. It deserves an entirely new entry.
Anyway, amidst all the âgetting-overâ and âmoving forwardâ, I still had to deal with another dilemma: âStaying or Moving Outâ.
I was confused about staying with my current job or moving into another field. It was not a simple decision because it involved moving to another city, looking for a new(and more expensive) house, meeting and working with new people and leaving the people whom I have worked with the past five years. It was a tougher crisis.
These were the questions that kept bothering me:
* Will I be better as a trainer or a teacher?
* Where do I fit: academe or industry?
* Who are the better friends: those in GenSan or those in Cebu?(A stupid question coz all of my friends are equally great!)
* Will I be happier in GenSan or in Cebu?
* Will Company X get hit by the global economic crisis?
But again, I was able to get through it with flying colorsâŚ
Here are the things I did:
* Pray – Spiritual guidance really helps
* Talk to friends – especially those who really understand what you are going through and are much eager to help
* Meditate/Reflect – Take some time to be with yourself. Examine your heart and identify your feelings. Know your deepest desires and priorities.
* Read books/blogs – You are not alone! Learn from those who went through similar situations
I am now a better and more mature person because of the crises I have gone through. I am single but happy. At least nobodyâs making me cry over nonsense stuff right now. Haha.
And I realized that there was something wrong with my Guy Checklist: I missed the loyal, honest, mature and totally-into-me criteria. No wonder I got the wrong guy! Another thing I realized is that I have a fantastic job here in MSU, which allows me to enjoy the thing I am truly good at: being with and working with people! I will have fun with my current job and look for other opportunities a little laterâŚ
How about you? How did you handle your quarter-life crisis?
Like when your finger gets stuck between the door and the door jamb. Awww! That hurts! A lot.
It’s the same with relationships, when people are stuck in between being lovers and being friends. The gray area is not a safe place – it makes people confused and insecure.
Sometimes, when we like someone so much, we allow ourselves to stay in the gray area – the “no commitment” zone. It makes you free from any responsibilities to the other person and gives you no “right” over the person. You are, after all, “not official”.
This situation gave birth to the Friendster status “It’s complicated”. For me, it’s the shorter term for “friends with benefits” – for people who are confused, unsure where they stand in the relationship or those who are afraid of commitment, or are in difficult situations where they are not allowed to tell the whole world about what’s going on between them. But why do we have to give a damn about these “labels” anyway?
Simple. To avoid confusion and everything that comes along with it.
You like someone so much that you don’t care that the other person didn’t express his clear intentions. Somehow, you get too comfortable with each other that “sometimes” you cross the thin line of being friends and lovers.
Why am I talking about this now? It’s because a close friend is in the same situation and she’s so stuck.
A piece of advice: Don’t stay in the gray area dear. Talk to him about it and choose between black and white.
Disclaimer: I am not a relationship guru. Obviously, I’m not good at relationships. Haha. If you take my piece of advise, know that it’s a big risk you are taking. Good Luck!
This pic was taken when we attended my company’s Gala Night on the 31st of May, the night before he proposed to me. đ
My Lane 